My dress sweeps the flagstone as I strut up to the coffin. It’s white like I requested, with silver handles that match the sequins on my gown. Purple and white flowers spill over the edges from the floral arrangement draped over its length and I nod in approval.
I turn to the mourners then grin at where Harold’s sitting in the front row. He raises an eyebrow, his gaze raking my length as I walk in his direction. I flip my blonde curls and pout my scarlet lips, putting a little extra sway into my hips.
‘Do you like my dress?’ I ask when I reach where he’s sitting.
He looks up from my cleavage meeting my gaze and, by God, he’s handsome. Raven hair crowns his head, framing dark features and olive skin. His eyes, bluer than the Caribbean, spark need through my insides and my toes curl in my heels. He’s always had this affect on me.
‘It’s a bit much,’ he answers matching my smirk with one of his own.
I snort and glance down at his white suit. ‘You look like a Columbian drug lord, Harold.’
Harold laughs as I lower onto the pew beside him, the rich sound echoing around the confines of the little church. I chose this church because it’s so damn pretty but not many people can fit inside. I think of all those standing outside with a frown. At least it’s not raining.
‘It’s a good turnout,’ I murmur.
The heavy doors open and we turn to watch more people file in. My smile fades when I see Evelyn, dressed in black and eyes rimmed with tears. She’s stunning in her midnight attire, blonde hair swept into elaborate curls. Her lips are red like mine and they tremble behind the black lace obscuring her face. James stands tall beside her, his large hand clasping hers.
‘She looks beautiful,’ Harold breathes.
I nod. ‘I told them to wear white. They’re ruining the colour scheme.’
Harold chuckles and wraps his arm around my shoulders. ‘Don’t be mad, Elspeth. They’re doing it out of respect.’
‘Then they should’ve respected my wishes,’ I grumble watching the small group file onto the pews.
The vicar must’ve been peeking because he appears the moment every seat is taken.
‘At least he’s wearing white,’ I mutter.
Harold laughs and takes my hand, fingers warm around mine. I’m so glad here’s here, holding me in this moment. There’s a lump in my throat since seeing Evelyn. She’s the reminder of everything I’m leaving behind.
‘We’re here today to pay our respects to Elspeth Connor,’ the vicar announces.
My gaze slides to Evelyn when she makes a choking sound and my heart joins the lump in my throat. The small church becomes suffocating, the air thick with tears. My baby girl is suffering and there’s nothing I can do.
‘She’s strong,’ Harold murmurs squeezing my fingers. ‘She made it through losing me, remember?’
‘She had me when we lost you,’ I argue. ‘We had each other.’
‘And now she has James,’ he answers.
I stare at James. He has his arm around Evelyn, holding her close. He’s a wonderful man, a great husband and fantastic father. The man is everything I could hope for my daughter and the tightness in my chest eases.
‘I wish I could tell her it’s okay,’ I whisper.
If only I could tell Evelyn of the relief I felt at dying. The shell of life cracked open and death seeped in. It set me free. Each time I’d ripped a choking vine away another strand of cancer had curled around me, drenching me in pain. Death had been a welcome reprieve.
‘She knows,’ Harold tells me.
I meet his gaze knowing he’s right. Gone are the milky cataracts that obscured his beautiful eyes at the end of his life. He’d been in so much pain, his body frail from months of illness and now he’s back to the man I first met.
I push to my feet and pull Harold up with me. ‘I’m ready.’
The smile he gives me is brilliant and I match it with one of my own. He tucks my arm through his and escorts me to the heavy wooden doors. Light seeps between the doors and around the edges, warm and inviting and feeling like home.
Home.
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